


kiss the day goodbye (and point me toward tomorrow)

by LMoriarty



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Episode: s01e07 Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Post-Episode: s01e07 Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-23 06:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13782075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMoriarty/pseuds/LMoriarty
Summary: Michael was quite a few things, mutineer amongst them, but nobody would ever consider her to bedating material. She just... wasn't. Her family knew it, which is why they never pressured her to find a partner. Her peers knew it, which is why they never tried to date her.Sheknew it, which is why she never attempted to change their minds, why she never sought out a partner anyway, why she neverdated.And yet here Michael was, on a ship that was not her own, with peers that were not her own, with acaptainthat was not her own— and Michael liked Tilly.Likedher, as in, romantically.





	kiss the day goodbye (and point me toward tomorrow)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ThatAloneOne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatAloneOne/gifts).



Michael was quite a few things, mutineer amongst them, but nobody would ever consider her to be  _dating material_. She just... wasn't. Her family knew it, which is why they never pressured her to find a partner. Her peers knew it, which is why they never tried to date her.  _She_ knew it, which is why she never attempted to change their minds, why she never sought out a partner anyway, why she never  _dated_.

And yet here Michael was, on a ship that was not her own, with peers that were not her own, with a  _captain_ that was not her own— and Michael liked Tilly.  _Liked_ her, as in, romantically.

She thought it merely platonic at first, as it made the most sense. But then  _things_ kept happening; subtle things, like brushes of hands and shy smiles. It took Michael longer than she would've liked to admit, but she eventually came to realize that her feelings didn't rest on the platonic side of the spectrum. Which, to be fair to herself, was an absolutely terrifying realization.

Michael had never been attracted to someone before, at least not romantically. She didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act, and she  _definitely_ didn't know whether or not Tilly liked her back. It would've been perfectly understandable for  _these_ peers to also realize she wasn't dating material, for  _Tilly_ to realize that. And  _then_ what was Michael supposed to do? She had never had a crush before, let alone an  _unrequited_ crush.

So Michael got on the net, and she searched for advice. A lot of it was useless to her — stuff like 'invite her to a movie and see what happens' and 'tinder!!!!!', which hadn't existed for quite some time — but there were a few pieces that fit. 'Talk to her', mainly, but also 'think it through'. Michael was good at thinking. She was analytical, contemplative,  _smart_ , even if she wasn't intelligent enough for the Vulcans.

So, she thought.

She thought a  _lot_ , actually. Went over all of their conversations, all of their interactions, all of the subtle things that had been happening. And Michael came to a conclusion. Specifically, this conclusion: Michael was absolutely, definitely, irrevocably into Tilly. She'd say _in love with_ , except, no. Nope. Nada. Not.

...Yet.

And once she reached that conclusion, Michael knew she needed to listen to the  _other_ piece of advice, and talk to Tilly.

"Hi," she said, entering their courters. Tilly was already there, lying on her bed, which Michael expected. "Can we... talk?"

Tilly looked over, appearing vaguely concerned. "Are you okay?" she asked, and Michael's heart skipped a beat or two. People had cared about her before — her mother, her brothers, her  _captain_  — but they all  _knew_ her, had spent years by her side. Tilly... hadn't, had actually only known her for months, weeks,  _days_. And yet, somehow... she cared. Her own  _father_ didn't, even if he kept trying to claim he wasn't her father, and— "Michael? Is everything all right? Did something happen? How can I help?"

"Everything's fine," she said. "Except, not really. I've been thinking about it, a lot. Things, that is. I've been thinking about things a lot. And I have... reached a conclusion, based off of extensive research and soul searching. The net informed me I should talk to you about this, and so I am."

"Talk to me about... what?" asked Tilly. Michael realized belatedly that she never actually said, which was foolish on her part. It was, after all, the entire point of her presence. Apart from the fact that curfew was kicking in, and she needed to be back in her room, that is.

"I like you," said Michael, matter-of-fact. In case it wasn't clear, she added, "Romantically."

Tilly stared. "Pardon?"

"After the time loop incident, I knew something had changed, for me," she explained. Tilly didn't say anything, which Michael took as encouragement to keep going. "You told me, presumably in various repeats, that your type was soldiers. That... stuck with me, I imagine because while I am first and foremost a scientist, I'm also a soldier. I thought about that for awhile. What you said. And I determined that I wasn't  _wondering_ if I was your type so much as I was  _hoping_ that I was. As I mentioned, I turned to the net for help. I searched my symptoms and was informed that I'm... attracted to you." Michael tilted her head to one side, pleased with herself. "I hope this doesn't change anything between us."

Tilly blinked. "Doesn't... change anything?" she echoed, sitting up. Her hair was a mess, slightly tangled and incredibly curly, and instead of pajamas Tilly was still wearing her uniform. She looked absolutely stunning. "Michael, you just told me you  _like me_. That changes  _everything_. We can— oh, I don't know, we can do a lot of things.  _Couple_ things. Like  _kiss_! And hold hands and cuddle and— and— sex!"

Now it was Michael's turn to blink. "Sex," she repeated. That was a bit extreme, wasn't it? Michael had revealed her feelings, sure, but the net had told her to prepare for disappointment and unrequited feelings, which she had. So, conversation over, time for bed. Only, Tilly wasn't done.

"Well, not right away," Tilly said. "But, eventually, probably." She stilled, peering over at Michael. "I mean, we don't have to. If you didn't want to, whenever that time theoretically came. That's fine! Super chill. But if you  _did_ , I mean, I... would be down. Literally. Down on the bed." She tapped the mattress for emphasis. "But also figuratively down. Down to fuck, as the saying goes."

"Uh," said Michael. "You... like me?"

"I mean... yeah. Clearly, I would have thought, though I am bad at expressing things so perhaps not," she said. "I wouldn't be offering to have sex with you if I didn't like you. I mean, probably wouldn't be? I guess theoretically I  _could_ be, except I'm not, so no worries." Tilly grinned. "So. We're dating now? I think that's how this works. You like me, I like you... make out time."

"This isn't how I thought this was going to go," Michael told her, confused and a little dazed. "I was under the impression I would confess my feelings, and that would be it. Except. It's not it." She frowned, deeply. "I'm... not sure what to do now."

"You could answer my question," Tilly suggested. "You, me, a thing? Dating. Girlfriends. Partners? We could talk about terminology later. Or now, if you prefer, but we could make out instead. Just saying."

"I'm... not dating material," Michael informed her, because that was important, and also more or less the entire point. She walked forwards, and perched herself at the edge of Tilly's bed. They were far enough away that they weren't touching, but they  _could_ be, if they wanted, and Michael  _wanted_. She forced herself to stay in place anyway. "I'm really not. It would... end badly, and since we're roommates—"

"Says who?" asked Tilly. "You? You haven't dated you. You wouldn't know."

"Sarek and Amanda," offered Michael, because they  _had_ told her that, or at the very least strongly implied it. "My peers, on Vulcan. And on USS Shenzhou. And no doubt here, on USS Discovery. There is a reason I haven't dated. It's because I'm not dating material. I know this."

"The  _only_ person who can determine if you're dating material or not is who you're  _dating_ ," Tilly told her, vaguely upset on Michael's behalf, which was about the kindest thing she could've done. "And since you haven't dated anyone before, I'll lower that to maybe-dating, aka me, and  _I_ say you're definitely dating material. Super dating material. I-want-to-date-you material."

"If I have no way of knowing, neither do you," Michael commented, because logic. That's just not how things worked.

"I mean I  _guess_? Except I  _like_ you. A lot. Like,  _a lot_ a lot. Willing-to-bang-you kind of a lot, but that goes back to the whole 'only if you want to' thing and, well. We definitely have to have that conversation at some point, but right now I need to convince you that you're dating material. So. Here goes. I — shocker —  _want_ to date you. Therefore, automatically dating material, therefore, if you want to date me all you have to do is say yes." Tilly wiggled her eyebrows. "And your answer is...?"

"What," said Michael, ineloquently, because  _what_. She was supposed to be rejected, vehemently, not— not—

Tilly clarified, helpfully, "Do you want to date me, yes or no?"

Michael sorted out her thoughts, and Tilly waited patiently at her side. She supposed that she did want to date Tilly;  _actually_ date her, not just theoretically. Michael hadn't expected it, per se, but she certainly  _wanted_ to which is what counted. The answer seemed obvious, once she realized that. Michael steeled herself, straightened her shoulders, and then stuck out a hand.

"Yes," Michael decided.

Tilly stared at the hand. "What are you doing?" she asked.

She glanced down at her extended arm. "You're supposed to shake it," explained Michael. "It's... a thing. Right?"

"For like... business deals, I guess," said Tilly. "Not, like, dating stuff. That involves kissing. Which we could do. Immediately."

Michael paused, then retracted three of her fingers, leaving her pointer finger and middle finger outstretched. She waited for a moment, then turned to peer at Tilly when she didn't press her own fingers to Michael's. She paused, head tilted, then sighed. "Human," she murmured, as if reminding herself, and lowered her hand. "Sorry. Um. Kissing, with mouths. Yes?"

Tilly squinted. "That sounded like a question," she pointed out. "I'm not kissing you unless you actually want me to kiss you, babe. Also, can I call you babe?"

"You may," said Michael. "And... we can kiss. I want to kiss you. With my mouth."

"Well, I'm glad, cause I also want to kiss you with my mouth," Tilly smiled. It was a very pretty smile, Michael noted for probably the hundredth time since meeting her. Tilly shifted around, coming closer to Michael, then even closer. "So. Kissing?"

"Kissing," agreed Michael.

She lightly placed her hand at the back of Tilly's neck, underneath her hair, and tugged Tilly forwards. Due to the pull, their lips met a little roughly, but neither girl seemed to mind. Tilly's lips were soft against her own; gentle in a way that somehow surprised Michael. She was clearly the better kisser of the two, Michael having never kissed or been kissed before, but Michael did her absolute best to give as good as she got. She was, in the end, a very quick study; easily improving as soon as she got a taste for it.

Tilly's hands flailed at Michael's side for half a second, then pressed against her waist; a grounding presence. Someone gasped, though later they'd never be able to identify who, and Michael deepened the kiss. She leant in, and Tilly leaned in, and then they both had to pull away because it was getting a little too hard to breathe.

"Kissing with mouths is fun," Michael admitted, out of breath.

"Probably the best kind of kissing, excluding—" Tilly cut herself off, face flaming red. Michael waited for a moment, staring intently until Tilly gave in. "Um. Excluding mouths against... other body parts."

"Other body parts," echoed Michael.

"Yes?" said Tilly. "Please don't ask for clarification, I really don't want to have to look you in the eye and say, like, boobs, and—  _shit_. I just did. I just said that. Why did I just say that."

"Probably because I was staring," Michael offered. "I can't say I'm uh, ready. For that. But. Mouth to mouth kissing was fun. Maybe mouth to neck. If you wanted. Theoretically."

Tilly's eyes lit up. She grabbed a handful of Michael's uniform, tugging her back in. "This feels a lot like girlfriend material, babe," she informed her, teasing, and Michael couldn't help but laugh. Tilly pulled at the material, dragging her even closer, grinning all the while.

And then they were kissing again.

With their mouths.

(And maybe a little with their necks.)

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on [tumblr](https://laniemoriarty.tumblr.com/) if u want to talk


End file.
